Ok i need an honest opinion bout this for my friend who wants a story about feeling when getting dumped. Here's my paragraph.

I sat there in my desk and looked over at her giggling and laughing with her new friend and couldn't help but remmber all the good times. She reached over and kissed him as if mocking me. I could only watch as i felt a knife continuosly stabbing at what she had left of my heart. I could taste blood in my mouth because i had bit down so hard on the sides of my mouth but only ignored the pain for nothing could compare to the inner pain which i had thought was love. What was i kidding. I knew this was to come out of love. As i looked out the window i could see the sweet sunshine and all the birds flying outside, chirping over and over again mocking me for they knew how i felt and each of the chirps i heard sounded as if they were laughing and i just grew more angry. I heard a gasp as the girl who sat next to me sat in horror watching the blood run down my lips and drip on the paper. Drip, drip, drip, all i could hear was the sound of my blood and everyone began to turn towards me and as all those eyes turned i looked towards her and could see she didn't even bother to turn. I clenched my hands into a fist and clenched onto my pen until it combusted and leaked all over my hand and onto the paper. As i looked towards my paper i saw the blue ink mixing with my bright red blood and could feel the single tear roll down my eye and onto the paper and i thought to myself about how nieve and stupid i was. My teacher walked up to me and asked if everything was fine. I gave her a bloody smile and told her that nothing was wrong and i could tell she knew i was lying because she had sent my to the restroom to clean up. As i walked down that hallway i could hear the sounds of my class echoing through the hallway and decided to ignore it until i reached the bathroom. i walked into the bathroom and could see my complection on the mirror and saw to my horror what i had not ever thought i could be. The blood shimmered because the light had shone off of it.i licked the blood and almost enjoyed the taste of it and as i looked into the mirror and smiled and walked back to my room and waited til' the end of the day. The bell rang and signaled the release of all the students and i thought of my plan which later i would realize was stupid and hurtful. I saw her smiling and became distracted because it looked as if she was glowing and i thought of her beauty and stood paralyzed by it. As i shook the sense back into me i walked up towards her group of friends and she stopped and looked over and immediately her smile turned to a frown and as we stood there facing each other i couldn't help but feel anger. She flinched as she saw me reaching for the hip of one of her friends and looked at me as if telling me she knew what i was going to do and looked as if she was telling me to stop but it was to late. I gave her a smile than pulled her friend close to me and planted my lips on hers. At first i could see the worry in her friends eyes and then i could tell she didn't mind because she reached her arms around my neck and began kissing me back and for those brief seconds i could tell she felt the pain that i felt when she dumped me. When i finally let go the friend gave me a smile as i looked to see some of my blood on her cheeks and when i looked over to see how she felt i almost felt like laughing. As i started walking away i slowed down as i walked past her and whispered into her ear, "It hurts doesn't it?" And continued my journey towards the bus which was to take me home and i looked back at her and could see her eyes begin to tear up and before she turned away i gave her a devious smile and walked away.